What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What does it mean when we dream about demons, ghosts, monsters, etc.?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why are black women the largest unmarried group in the United States of America?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

TEXT:

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

My ex moved on so fast. How can I overcome the pain?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why do good-looking men date homely women?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why did the Soviet Jews hate the Soviet Union?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What's your take on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? How has it affected you?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why are breasts attractive?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

How has your life changed since starting college?

Make Nazis afraid again!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Were you ever in love with your teacher?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why does everyone hate Anthony Joshua so much? I get that he isn’t the best heavyweight boxer ever but people claim he’s a no skill fighter but he has an Olympic gold medal, a world championship, and beat Klitschko, a dominant force in boxing

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why do some people prefer watching movies than reading novels even if they are both based on the same source material (book)?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.